Chris

My husband recently took a risk - he applied for his dream job. His dream job isn't necessarily a popular one. And it rarely comes with insurance. I felt from the beginning that going through the process of applying was even more important than whether or not he got the job. Chris weathered through building a resume and seemingly endless written questions even though typing/grammar/writing/spelling are some of his least favorite things to do. He dislikes them so much that he often dictates and I type. Not this time. He was a real trooper, thinking through each thing given to him. He interviewed twice and was one of two final candidates for the position. In the end, the position was given to the other person. That in no way matters to me.

Chris and I came to Arizona 10+ years ago because we felt the Lord call us. I knew no one, and Chris knew a couple of people. We came with no jobs, no apartment, no promises of what was in store. It was risky. But it was worth it.

When Brody was diagnosed, we pulled back from living so risky. We needed safety, familiarity and time to process what our life might look like with this new information. Risk became too, well, risky.

We've been talking for a while now about how we need to be willing to risk again. We need to walk out what God calls us to even when it doesn't make sense.

That's what Chris applying meant to me. It meant we had actually reclaimed what the enemy had stolen from us. In Christ, we are free to risk, because He will not fail us - even when circumstances seem to. It allowed me the opportunity to marvel at who my husband is. I am so very proud of him for the man he is and the man God is growing him to be.

"Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God." Ruth 1:16

I have a need for the random...

My heart has been heavy. I feel like a light-hearted, random post is in order.

*Many of the children in my life have a great love for the infomercial. It brings a smile to my face each time I think of the great pride with which my nephew told me, "Aunt Dareth, I want to buy you the 'roll and grow' so you can have pretty flowers." Addison is watching one as we speak :)

*The kids and I did a "sleepover" in Koleson's room last week. We had a bed, his crib and a mattress all piled into his room. I think Alivia was the only one who really slept, but it made her so happy, it was totally worth it.

*My girl is really into crafts right now. I can basically throw some school supplies on the table and call it a craft and she is so happy to be crafting with Mommy.

*My backseat was full of children today singing at the top of their lungs. "Jesus, You're so good to me. I won't live for another!" I smiled to myself and prayed, "Let it be so, Lord."

Help me, Jesus, Help, Help Me Jesus...

Just when I think I can not become more angry...then I do.

I have given this anger to the Lord each day. And the next day, another opportunity to do it again rears it's even uglier head. I am getting tired and I feel my resolve slipping.

In an effort to keep my head in the right place...some good reminders.

Exodus 15:7
In the greatness of your majesty you threw down those who opposed you. You unleashed your burning anger; it consumed them like stubble.

Exodus 32:9-10
"I have seen these people," the LORD said to Moses, "and they are a stiff-necked people. 10 Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you into a great nation."

Psalm 4:4
In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent.

And one I am preparing to memorize this week:
Proverbs 11:17
A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.

Please pray for me that the Lord will continue to guide my every step and that I will keep my eyes fixed on Him. The enemy will NOT benefit from this difficult time in my life!

Not Guilty

I have been reading a book about Mommy Guilt. I am really loving it. I don't know a mom around who doesn't struggle with it in some capacity. I put a challenge out to our mommies group this week: make a list of the things you do in your mothering that you do not feel guilty for, the things you feel like you have done right (big or small).

Things I do not feel guilty about:
*Keeping my shower a kid-free zone.
*Talking openly and freely with my daughter, even if she touches on a subject that makes me uncomfortable.
*Teaching my daughter the character of Jesus and how we should model that in our own lives.
*Also teaching her that we all need His grace and forgiveness, myself included.
*Leaving the dishes in the sink for one more day.
*Allowing my toddler to eat food off of the living room floor.
*Giving my children a binky.
*Obsessing over my children's health sometimes.
*Demanding life-saving water skills training for our girl.

This is a good start. It feels good to remember that I do get it right sometimes.

Happy 8th, Addie Grace

Dear Addie,

Today you are 8. Eight seems so very old, and I am not particularly liking the idea of you being "old." Time seems to be rushing by, and some nights when my head hits the pillow, I wonder if I was present for anything in your day.

Seven was a year of challenges, which means it was also an opportunity for some growth in your life. You faired well, dear girl, but not without some marks from the enemy. My prayer for you is that you will take those wounds to the Cross of Christ and let Him be enough. He is BIG, my daughter, and He alone assigns your value. But let me tell you with confidence, Adds, He is especially fond of you.

Eight brings a new season to your education and our relationship. We are homeschooling you this year. Daddy and I think you will thrive on the one on one learning environment, and to be completely honest, our hearts long to shield your from growing up too fast. I am anxious and excited to see where this next year takes us.

You have turned into our little fish this summer, enjoying swim lessons and practicing the competitive strokes so you can be on the team next year. You love to swim! You also still love to mother anyone who will let you. You are going to make a great babysitter someday. Lately you have been asking for coffee in the mornings, which cracks me up. I am pretty sure I have both you and Brody hooked.

Speaking of your brother, I think he really loves you a lot. He knows you will protect him and laugh with him. He knows that you will forgive him when he has hurt you. Sissy, there is something to be said about your relationship with him. I've always wondered how it would develop, I've been concerned you might resent him. Addie, you love him so purely and so sweetly. You never want him to be in trouble, even when he has done "little brother things" that irritate you. I know you love him deeply, and I know you will ALWAYS look out for him. Mommy cannot tell you how much that makes my heart swell.

Addison, the thing I love most about you is how much you love God and His Word. You chose to stay here over your birthday weekend because you wanted to be at church on your birthday. You love learning your memory verses and you are quick to pray for your friends. Your growing faith is inspirational.

Addison Grace, I love you beyond what your heart can imagine. As you grow into the girl that God has made you to be, my prayer is that your heart will desire the Lord above all else.

"What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Micah 6:8