It's time for an update...

...none of us look like those pictures anymore. Unfortunately, I just got on my computer for the first time in years, so I don't have any more recent pictures in my digital possession. And my camera is broken. And I don't actually know how to put pictures on this thing unless it's in a post. Yes, I am that lame.

So, apparently this post is useless.

Happy Wednesday.

a catch all of sorts

Koleson:

...just qualified for preschool which is making his mom happy and nostalgic all at once.

...is playing soccertots. Which is an adorable mix of little people running and kicking and shouting "GOAL". Love.

...is beginning to speak in full sentences, which also makes his mom happy and nostalgic all at once.

Alivia:

...is loving the new found freedom found in the ability to read and write. I love this phase!

...just began a dance class which she is in love with. She seems to have the touch for tap, but girlfriend got her dad's flexibility, so ballet is NOT her dance.

...has begun memorizing scripture and reading it from her bible. This makes my heart incredibly happy for her.

Dareth:

...I have a new job that I love. Playing with babies and getting paid for it?? :)

...I am thankful that the Lord allows me to be really honest and raw in our relationship.

Happy Monday, Friends!

(dis)organized

I am feeling so disorganized at the moment. I know, more than anything, this is actually a reflection of some emotional stuff more than anything. Not that I am not actually disorganized, (those of you who know me in real life can testify) but I'm not sure that I'm not just my regular amount of disorganized, and the emotional chaos on the inside is manifesting on the outside. And then my emotional chaos begins to manifest by desiring control, but then I am so distracted by some stuff, that then I do things like miss appointments, etc...

Anywhoo... I need to set some goals.

*Get the kids room/playroom under control.

*Get the laundry put away- all of it!

*Begin writing my personal/kids appointments on my work calendar so I do not get a call saying "where are you? You were supposed to be here 15 min ago...(Yeah that happened...at my new job...embarrassing.)

*Get internet at my house so I can stop trying to do work stuff at library, Brandy's and Timmarie's which means I might actually have all the stuff I need in 1 place to complete any given task.

*Figure out a plan to pay for monthly internet service at our house with the extra .02 it seems like I have at the end of each month.

Everybody needs goals, right??

Love and other things...

I was having a conversation with my girl the other night and she was sharing some things she had been pondering. I love these talks, because I really get a look into the deep waters that are her heart. Six year olds are deep. She was asking me about heaven and "down there" (aka hell). She wanted to know if everyone goes to heaven. I explained that if you have asked Jesus into your heart, you will go to heaven when you die. She went on to talk about some of the people we know who have already gone on to heaven. Then she asked me "If you have asked Jesus into your heart, but you do bad things, will you still get to go to heaven?" This allowed us to talk about salvation and forgiveness, etc. Then she said something that I can't seem to get out of my mind. She said, "What if Jesus forgets that I asked him into my heart?"It was such an opportunity to talk about the character of God and how it is unlike the character of man.

Alivia, I am honored that our God entrusts me to teach you about Him. I hope you will always ask the hard questions and that you never stop searching for answers, because our God is faithful to lead us. Please do not confuse the unconditional love that is God with the conditional love of humans. I try to surround you and your brother with people who try to model His love, but I know sometimes we fail. I pray that you will discern the difference. I love you with everything in me and I am so very proud of you.

Love, Mommy

On a very unrelated note, while I was typing this, Koleson began coughing while he ate popcorn. He couldn't seem to stop so I asked him to spit out what was in his mouth. I was left holding a blob of what I can only guess to be: 3 sticks of chewing gum, a handful of popcorn and 2 gum wrappers.

Two year olds?? Not deep.

Things I love...

I have spent the afternoon a bit irritated. So, I thought a list of things I am enjoying right now would help me re-focus my mind.

This being said, my God and my kids are obvious list-toppers.

*quotes from The Big Bang Theory.

*frozen yogurt from a specific serve yo*self shop.

*laughing with friends

*hopes for a vacation

*free nook books

Yep, I feel a little better.

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

7 it is

7 Things I love about you, Brody:

1. When you love something, you talk about it. You showed your grandparents and auntie approximately 37 ocean animals over skype today.

2. Your endless amounts of energy. I am determined to bottle it up and sell it on the black market.

3. You have fought hard to mature. You have been a good example in class at school, and you fight to exercise self control. Some moments you win, some you lose. But you are willing to face the opportunity to make a different choice.

4. Your smile and your laugh. The joy is CONTAGIOUS, my son.

5. That you call Koleson, Baby Koleson. Dareth and I hope you will do this into his teen years.

6. How you can be socially awkward at times. I'm not sure that it is your autism that's showing as much as your genetic code from your mama.

7. I love how you have wrestled with the Lord these past couple of months. You haven't been afraid to ask hard faith questions in regards to Grandma K, you have been honest with the fear you have had, and you have talked it out with your God. It has been difficult as your mom to watch you ask the tough stuff, knowing the Lord responded with a no to some of your questions. But it has been so beautiful at the same time. You are growing in your faith, and that takes my breath away.

I am so very grateful to be your mom. And in what I am bracing myself to be a more difficult year of growth for you, I am praying you will continue to chase God with the questions of your heart.

You are pure joy. With a side of crazy and no appreciation for sarcasm. The perfect blend for our family. I love you!

Miss B

I have known Miss B since she was in first grade or so. Maybe second grade. All I know is that she is 18 now, so I've know her a long time. I had her in the first kid's church class I taught. I prayed with her as she came up through the youth group. I've cheered her on as she traveled to Africa on her first missions trip. And I have served youth alongside her. And I've watched her serve my son as a habilitation worker.

I've watched and prayed as this young girl transformed into a beautiful woman. I've watched her suffer through some personal stuff, only to see her accept it's purpose in relating to the people of Africa. I've watched her give to friendships that have cost her heart. I've witness someone who is willing to wrestle anything and everything out with the God of the universe and come out with authenticity, peace, and more passion for her Savior.

Miss B isn't cut from the same cloth as most 18 year olds of her time. She embraces the awkward, isn't concerned about her image, and just loves, well, EVERYONE. B proves that young people can turn this world around! She makes me want to be a better servant of Christ, a better mom, and a better friend. I want to be like her when I grow up!

Miss B is beginning a new journey this week: a journey that takes her away from her physical location. She is about to have a grand adventure as she follows after the Lord. To say that I am proud of her is a gross understatement. She is loving and serving and following all while feeling the riskiness of it all, and she is going anyway.

Miss B is a treasure to our family. She has gifted us with her love, her patience, and her kindness. She has loved Brody sweetly and hysterically and has been such a phenomenal example to our daughter. And she has been a good friend to me. We have had such rich conversations that I will treasure throughout this life.

Miss B, your life is a testimony of the beauty of God. As you embark on this next chapter, know that you are bring covered in prayer and thought of each day. Thank you for always being you - your authenticity is a gift to those who know you and those who you will meet. I look forward to some skype lunch dates and just hearing about all God is teaching you. You are such an example to your nieces and nephews - what is more important for them to know than to follow the Lord whole heartedly? You amaze me, my friend. And I am certain Gma is bragging to the crowd of witnesses she is a part of, telling Abraham, Moses, and Rahab that "that's my grandaughter!" You remind me of her so much, just like your mama does. What a legacy!