another year

Today is my Dad's birthday. I wrote this post about my dad last year. He is the epitome of what a Daddy should be in my opinion. He is strong and caring and loyal and fierce. He stands up for what is right in a quiet manner.

Because my dad will never read this post, I can talk about him freely without embarrassing him. (He doesn't know how to use a computer and has no desire to ever try. He has probably never heard the term blog and he still calls social networking "the spacebook".) He is a simple guy who loves his family and wants to do better than he did in years past. He takes personal responsibility for his "stuff" and won't claim responsibility for other's. He has a quiet strength that I hope to emulate.

When I announced I was pregnant with Alivia, he became quiet and withdrawn. In my semi-hormonal state I was so disappointed that he wasn't more excited for me. He apologized the next day and told me, "I had a little girl, and she wasn't supposed to grow up." I knew in that one statement how deep his love for me ran. Watching me journey through a divorce was brutal. It ate him up. He made himself sick with worry. I only know this from others, he never wanted me to know. He offered his quiet support with a gigantic amount of self-control. I know he had much to say, but he allowed me to deal with any and every situation how I thought was best. He trusted that I was a strong woman who needed to own my decisions. He must have been terrified that I would make a choice he thought was harmful. But, he kept it to himself. He called me everyday to check on me and came by a couple of times a week just to visit. He never felt the need to fill the quiet with words. He just gave support with his presence.

I know the reality is that my dad won't always be here. Just typing that brings tears. I am ever so thankful for my dad. I am thankful for the father he is, for the grandfather he loves to be and for the example of loving, supportive parenting with boundaries. I will cherish every year the Lord sees fit to have you here with us.

Happy Birthday, Daddy! We love you more than words.