extraordinary

I haven't shared a lot about Koleson on here. He is an outgoing little boy who loves his mama and his big sister. He uses sign and words to communicate. He is has recently begun enjoying playing with cars and trains. And balls. He is playful and a touch mischievious. His eyes are so blue that people comment on them just about every day. In addition, he receives early intervention services. He gets speech therapy and has recently begun occupational therapy. I work in this field and am familiar with the benefits that come with early intervention. I am so grateful for the advantages these therapists offer us. I also understand there's a certain process you have to go through when your child has any kind of special needs. I am in that process.

Last week we went to prayer service at our church. Koleson and I sat in the back with some toys. I was having a wonderful time watching my beautiful little boy play quietly.

We began to sing.

"We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary.

We won't be satisfied at all.

We won't be satisfied with anything ordinary.

We won't be satisfied at all.

Open up the sky, pour down like rain.

We don't want blessings, we want You.

Open up the sky, pour down like fire.

We don't want anything but You."

I stared at him as I sang. I realized that he may not be "ordinary". But, I wouldn't be satisfied with anyone else. That little boy brings unbridled joy. I don't want to live my life in such a way that I am always looking for the next blessing, always searching for more than what I have. I hope to live my life seeking Him and discovering the blessings as He sees fit to hand them out. And He does.

And, some of the time, they are extra-ordinary.

And this one is named Koleson.

and my girl

Alivia is 5 and she seems to become more mature with every passing day. She is a spirited, social, has-her-mind-made-up kind of girl. She is a rockstar big sister and a really great friend. And, I know I am 100% biased, but can I just say, the girl is beautiful.

Here she is modeling her bedhead along with some Christmas gifts.

Love this picture of her in the mudpit. This is such a fun representation of who she is. She kind of tiptoed into the mud very cautiously. But once she had tested it out, she was all in.

Alivia, you light up my life. You teach me and inspire me each and every day. Your faith in the Lord is beautiful. And, I'm so thankful I get to be your mom!

my boy

Koleson

He is going to be 2 in a couple of weeks. I am in denial.

Playing the freaky face game with Aunt Brandy. It's a special bond these 2 have :)

Looking through the binoculars. Always on the forehead.

I didn't know how different it would be to mother a boy. I still don't really know, I am only beginning to figure it out. What I do know is that little baby boy stole my heart nearly 2 years ago in a very different way than his sister had 3&1/2 years prior.

friendship

I recently read MaryBeth Chapman"s book "Choosing to SEE". There is one scene she describes that I have reflected back on a few times now. She talks about the day that her daughter passed away. They left the hospital and headed to their church to be surrounded by their church family who had gathered to pray. She is met by a small group of friends who take her into the bathroom and proceed to help her our of her clothes that are stained in her daughter's blood. Her friends, were able to recognize her need in a time when she was completely unaware of what her needs might be. One friend gave her a shirt, one a bra, and one pants. She returned to her family. Those 3 friends sat in the bathroom in their literal nakedness while they waited for someone to bring them some clothes in exchange. And, for a moment, they helped clothe their friend in her most figuratively naked moment.

I sobbed as I read this passage. SOBBED. And I praised the Lord that I get to be a part of a group of women who will stand naked in a bathroom for me. Every.single.time. I strive to be a friend who does the same.

To all the girls in my life who are striving to hold on to relationships that are unhealthy at best: my prayer for you is that you will strive to surround yourself with friends who will stand naked for you in a bathroom. Friends who would not even consider their own embarrassment or insecurities during your deepest time of need.

Seriously??

We live in an era where few people are held responsible for their misbehavior. This statement was made by Steven Reiss, Emeritus Professor of Psychology and Psychiatry at Ohio State University.

I reminisce back to when I was a child and think about how things were handled when I was young. I ask myself, was I allowed to blame everything I ever did wrong on someone else? After about 10 seconds of reflection, the answer was a resounding NO!!

I am choosing to post this because I feel like our families and homes are falling apart because adults are choosing to not take personal responsibility for their actions. To make it worse, these same adults teach their children to shun responsibility. We need to stop living a life of BUTS. I will give a few examples of what living a life of BUTS looks like....

I know I said this and it hurt your feeling, BUT, you did this....

I am sorry I did..... BUT, it was because.....

How about we adopt an attitude of personal responsibility? Why don't we just accept responsibility and say something like.... I am sorry for hurting you. It was wrong. Please forgive me. Wouldn't we all feel better about ourselves and others if we knew that we were willing and others were willing to own their own behavior?

All this to say....Life is hard and relationships with others is difficult. There is no magic formula to make things work out the way we want them. At the end of the day, I want to be able to go to sleep with a clear conscious, knowing that I have been true to my God and to myself and have owned my words and actions.