Did someone hit the refresh button??

I am on my last day of vacationing with family in Colorado. This trip has been really special to me. It's very low-key and ultra-relational. We just get together and do life. When I make my plans, a week always sounds like a long time to be away from home. But, today it feels like we just got here and it's time to go. We have spent time in family homes, had meals together and of course, eaten at Panera as many times as possible. I love that restaurant and we do not have one on the surface of the sun. We have had girl chats and watched our kids play and most of all, just had time to share about our lives.

I came here at a very needy time. I am feeling a little fragile in some family relationships. It is so refreshing to see my family, my friends, just step in where I need them. They anticipated my needs (read: Panera and some grown up time) and met me right where I am. I never felt as though I had to "act" a certain way. I feel free to help myself, make a mess, clean a mess, and discipline my children. I haven't felt any pressure to be who they want me to be. Just the freedom to be who I am and know that I am loved.

As I sit here typing this, I am listening to the thunder and the rain pouring down. I just finished up some time with the Lord and am enjoying the quiet of a house full of sleeping beauties. I came here needing relaxation and refreshment and I definitely have gotten to experience both.

Thanks for that.

some ridiculousness...

These are a few of the most ridiculous things we have heard in the past week or so...

- We now give snake vaccines (on a veterinarian's office)

-"I have to go home, feed my kids and make some homemade dog food."

-"Could Kate Gosselin be the next Bachelorette?? (The answer is no, in case enquiring minds want to know.)

-The Phoenix Suns wearing jerseys that say "Los Suns" in condemnation of their state immigration law. (This is not any commentary on the law, just an observation on the franchise.)

-"The normal kids that I work with..." (spoken by a special ed professional. We thought she was very "special".)

-Bumper sticker: Our environment is the #1 moral issue.

-"The team knows him as well or better than you do in some ways." Umm, no.

A Year of Surprises

Well, Koleson, you are one. Mommy tried to fight it as long as I could, but I couldn't get more than a year out of this first year. Funny how that works... It has been a blast watching you grow right before my eyes. You are a sweet boy who loves just about anyone who wants to interact with you. You are your father's child through and through in that when you are hungry, you want to eat rightthisverysecond. And I don't think a day passes without someone commenting on those beautiful blue eyes of yours. You have taught me to be a mama to 2 children and I will be forever grateful.

The Lord knows I love surprises. So, it is fitting that your first year has brought me many. These are a few of my favorites:

Finding out you were already growing just days after losing our health insurance :)

My water breaking at 32 weeks 5 days.

That you were almost delivered in a wheelchair because you were in such a hurry to get here.

Hearing your strong cry just hours after the doctor told me he did not expect your lungs to be mature.

You gained 3 pounds in your fourth month...pretty impressive for a preemie.

It took you 2 months on your hands and knees before you crawled.

I took you minutes to discover the freedom that crawling could offer you.

And since you have discovered cords...nothing will stand in your way.

I would have never guessed that big mischievous spirit was hiding inside that tiny body 1 year ago.

Koleson, your presence has made our life a hundred-fold richer. You have brought many smiles on days when frustrations were high. I am so glad you came into our family and made me a mom of a boy. I look forward to the adventure, son. I love you more than there are words.

You Are #1

Mr. Koleson (aka Chubbs),

Happy Birthday, sweet one. It has been quite a year for you! I still remember the first time I held you, marveling at your tininess and knowing that you were just such a special boy. With your arrival, you have brought such fun into my life. You are just the sweetest thing.

You have given your mama such a pure joy. You are a reminder of the overwhelming kindness and love of our Savior, little one. It has been such a blessing to watch your mommy love and laugh with you. She is just head over heels for you. I don't think she can hardly stand how much she loves you!

And your sister...well, it's no surprise that she thinks you are fabulous. I love when she decides that you like something and your mama tries to intervene because she is doing something rather annoying. You already know to stick up for your sissy, as evidenced by you laughing and encouraging the behavior.

You, Koleson, are a reminder of what is good and lovely in a difficult world. You bring joy just by being you. You don't require anything, you just smile and love.

I can't wait to see how this next year unfolds in your life, little boy. You are simply spectacular.

I love you.

Tuesday Brain Potpourri

We have some barf here today. Woot - woot! I have pretty much decided that I prefer it to the I-didn't-make-it-to-the-bathroom accidents. And yes, I am serious.

I have had to fill out 463 observations of Brody. I hate them. I feel like I am betraying him.

We have decided to homeschool our oldest next year. Jesus, feel free to come back before July, which is when we will be starting.

Is is weird that I feel more nervous about flying to Honolulu than I do Miami? Not that I have a ticket to either place, just that flying over the ocean freaks me out way more than my normal paranoia of flying.

I have decided that I want to travel all summer long. I have also decided that unless we win the lottery that we don't play, this will not become a reality.

I have come to terms with the fact that I shall not be catching up on my laundry anytime ever.

A girls night out is much needed. As well as a date night.

If I carry a 3rd child, and have the opportunity to wear a swimsuit, I will wear a two piece. Because the pregnant belly is adorable to me.

I really, really like working with teens.

My sister totally mocked me by telling me that she was ordering jewelry from Sam Moon and did I want to order anything...hello, YES PLEASE but no, I am on a budget.

I don't want to talk about it...

...yet I can't seem to stop thinking about it.

how 'bout some random for a change??

It hasn't gone unnoticed that I seem to post randomly on this blog (hence the name). I wish I had more time to blog. I wish I had more access to the internet. And I wish that each time I sat down to write something here, that I didn't stare at the blank screen. I write imaginary posts in my head all the time when I am out doing life. But, I sit down at the computer and I can't think of much worthwhile to put on "paper".

So, once again, I offer you some random thoughts...

I don't think I can think of many things out there more offensive than a husband who belittles his wife's work as a mom. It really ruffles my feathers in such a way that I want to start throwing punches.

Alivia has discovered the joys of the teeter toter. She calls it the tater tot. It makes me smile every time.

The ENT told me yesterday that Koleson's ears "looked perfect". That is the first time I have ever heard those words uttered about my son. He has had tubes for about 6 weeks now and we haven't had an ear infection in about 2 weeks. Yay!

However, the dr appointments continue for us. He has been referred to a pulmonologist to figure out what's going on with the persistant wheezing, croupy cough and general green slime. I continue to see the endocrynologist and next a neurologist for my weird symptoms (probably stress related). Can I get a shout out for great health insurance?? Woot, woot!

On that note, I was just informed that we may be losing our health insurance over the next couple of months. Awesome. Everyone...to the doctor, stat! And then...no more getting sick, okay??

Alivia and I have figured out a bedtime routine that is actually working for her. I am so excited! It's been 4 1/2 years since I have been sleeping through the night consistently. And I am so ready to try it out again.

My baby is going to celebrate his first birthday in less than a month. I really don't want to talk about it. Thanks for understanding.

Life is the most up in the air that it has ever been. But, I feel more blessed each and every day. Isn't it amazing how trials can give us a perspective that we often can lose sight of during the good times??