It's time for an update...

...none of us look like those pictures anymore. Unfortunately, I just got on my computer for the first time in years, so I don't have any more recent pictures in my digital possession. And my camera is broken. And I don't actually know how to put pictures on this thing unless it's in a post. Yes, I am that lame.

So, apparently this post is useless.

Happy Wednesday.

Why I Love Dareth

A small excerpt from a conversation we had yesterday.

D: "OK, I'm curious as to why you are breaking up with chocolate."

T: (Explanation here.) Basically the US chocolate manufacturers have turned a blind eye to the child labor that gets them their chocolate. And then when it's brought to their attention, instead of changing it, they do a whole bunch of stuff to try and distract from the actual problem. I can't support child endangerment. Just because I don't have to look at it, that doesn't make it ok. Furthermore, I am tired of companies/government thinking that I am too stupid to figure this stuff out. (Please insert more ranting about healthcare reform, poverty, abortion, etc).

D: Insert awesome, encouraging response.

T: If I turn into one of those crazy social justice people, please laugh at me. You know the ones, the ones who make that their religion.

D: So when should I expect you to become vegan?

my boy

Koleson

He is going to be 2 in a couple of weeks. I am in denial.

Playing the freaky face game with Aunt Brandy. It's a special bond these 2 have :)

Looking through the binoculars. Always on the forehead.

I didn't know how different it would be to mother a boy. I still don't really know, I am only beginning to figure it out. What I do know is that little baby boy stole my heart nearly 2 years ago in a very different way than his sister had 3&1/2 years prior.

We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, LORD,
even as we put our hope in you. Psalm 33:20-22

Happy Tuesday

Tidbits

• I have been having weird ear pain off and on for months now. I made the mistake of web MD'ing it. It's either nothing or cancer. Good to know.
• I have taken two big tests in my anatomy class already. I got an A on the first one and an 89.33 on the second one. That really irritates me!
• Addie and I went to her first concert - The Jonas Brothers. She was so fun to watch.
• I am doing the Esther Bible Study and LOVING IT.
• Oddly enough, I am also struggling with not SHAKING THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of someone. And yes, that is the edited version of how I feel.
• Just goes to show, I have a lot to work through with the Lord.
• I caught Brody sneaking into some Hostess treats last night. I surprised him with one in his lunch yesterday and so tonight he must've felt like he needed to eat every.last.one. Wonder where he gets that from?
• Someone posted a link to a ministry that is exactly my heart. I have already asked the Lord to let me serve there at some point in my life.
• I've decided to grow my hair out.
• Why does my family have to have more diagnoses? The good news - 3 of the 4 should be remedied in about 6 months after some therapy.
• I got a phone call from a teacher today. Not the kind where they just wanted to share how great your child is. Boo.

This Day

It was an emotional one.

A day of failed negotiations.
A day of victory over past strongholds.
A day of upheld boundaries.
A day of great cost.
A day in which I received vacation details that made me smile- a lot.
A day that held news that is consuming my thoughts.
A day that resurfaced much anger.
A day of new life, twice.

What a day!

They don't call me Random Mom for nothin'

Things I am doing right now:
*composing this here blog post
*checking Facebook
*fulfilling repeated requests for "more grapes please, I love them. They are so yummy."

Things I should actually be doing:
*searching for jobs
*formulating a plan as to what items I could sell to make some cash until I find afore-mentioned job
*searching for some headache meds

Things I am listening to:
*Alivia mothering her snowman baby
*Koleson coughing like a seal
*and of course, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse...

Things I am wrestling with:
*living out this season of my life with honesty and grace
*that it's tough being a woman in a mean world
*getting some ice cream out of the carton that is stored in, what must be, the coldest freezer EVER

Not Guilty

I have been reading a book about Mommy Guilt. I am really loving it. I don't know a mom around who doesn't struggle with it in some capacity. I put a challenge out to our mommies group this week: make a list of the things you do in your mothering that you do not feel guilty for, the things you feel like you have done right (big or small).

Things I do not feel guilty about:
*Keeping my shower a kid-free zone.
*Talking openly and freely with my daughter, even if she touches on a subject that makes me uncomfortable.
*Teaching my daughter the character of Jesus and how we should model that in our own lives.
*Also teaching her that we all need His grace and forgiveness, myself included.
*Leaving the dishes in the sink for one more day.
*Allowing my toddler to eat food off of the living room floor.
*Giving my children a binky.
*Obsessing over my children's health sometimes.
*Demanding life-saving water skills training for our girl.

This is a good start. It feels good to remember that I do get it right sometimes.

Tuesday Brain Potpourri

We have some barf here today. Woot - woot! I have pretty much decided that I prefer it to the I-didn't-make-it-to-the-bathroom accidents. And yes, I am serious.

I have had to fill out 463 observations of Brody. I hate them. I feel like I am betraying him.

We have decided to homeschool our oldest next year. Jesus, feel free to come back before July, which is when we will be starting.

Is is weird that I feel more nervous about flying to Honolulu than I do Miami? Not that I have a ticket to either place, just that flying over the ocean freaks me out way more than my normal paranoia of flying.

I have decided that I want to travel all summer long. I have also decided that unless we win the lottery that we don't play, this will not become a reality.

I have come to terms with the fact that I shall not be catching up on my laundry anytime ever.

A girls night out is much needed. As well as a date night.

If I carry a 3rd child, and have the opportunity to wear a swimsuit, I will wear a two piece. Because the pregnant belly is adorable to me.

I really, really like working with teens.

My sister totally mocked me by telling me that she was ordering jewelry from Sam Moon and did I want to order anything...hello, YES PLEASE but no, I am on a budget.

how 'bout some random for a change??

It hasn't gone unnoticed that I seem to post randomly on this blog (hence the name). I wish I had more time to blog. I wish I had more access to the internet. And I wish that each time I sat down to write something here, that I didn't stare at the blank screen. I write imaginary posts in my head all the time when I am out doing life. But, I sit down at the computer and I can't think of much worthwhile to put on "paper".

So, once again, I offer you some random thoughts...

I don't think I can think of many things out there more offensive than a husband who belittles his wife's work as a mom. It really ruffles my feathers in such a way that I want to start throwing punches.

Alivia has discovered the joys of the teeter toter. She calls it the tater tot. It makes me smile every time.

The ENT told me yesterday that Koleson's ears "looked perfect". That is the first time I have ever heard those words uttered about my son. He has had tubes for about 6 weeks now and we haven't had an ear infection in about 2 weeks. Yay!

However, the dr appointments continue for us. He has been referred to a pulmonologist to figure out what's going on with the persistant wheezing, croupy cough and general green slime. I continue to see the endocrynologist and next a neurologist for my weird symptoms (probably stress related). Can I get a shout out for great health insurance?? Woot, woot!

On that note, I was just informed that we may be losing our health insurance over the next couple of months. Awesome. Everyone...to the doctor, stat! And then...no more getting sick, okay??

Alivia and I have figured out a bedtime routine that is actually working for her. I am so excited! It's been 4 1/2 years since I have been sleeping through the night consistently. And I am so ready to try it out again.

My baby is going to celebrate his first birthday in less than a month. I really don't want to talk about it. Thanks for understanding.

Life is the most up in the air that it has ever been. But, I feel more blessed each and every day. Isn't it amazing how trials can give us a perspective that we often can lose sight of during the good times??

Your love is...

This is quickly becoming my go-to worship song. I sing it to Alivia as she goes to sleep at night. The Lord has been showing up in a big way in my life lately. I have been seeing His fingerprints all over my life and the lives of those around me. His ways are bigger than our ways. And I can't ever out run His faithfulness.


"Your love is deep.
Your love is high.
Your love is long.
Your love is wide.

Your love is deeper than my view of grace.
Higher than this worldly place.
Longer than this road I travel.
Wider than the gap you fill."

I don't know about you, but I sometimes have a limited view of His grace. I lose sight that this world is not our destination. I doubt that this road marked with suffering will ever end. And I am left with gaps all over my life.

Thank you God for your neverending love.

What your roller derby name says about you...

Timmarie was there with us, but I cut her head off in the shot. Sorry about that...Just picture her next to Brandy with her cute faux hawk and flower in her hair.

So last night some friends introduced me to the roller derby in our local city. I will be honest, I wasn't sure if I would get into it. And, in all fairness, at first I didn't. It was a double header. The premiere of men's roller derby competition in our state. Let's just say that I hope with more practice the men can begin working together and not calling off the jam every 32 seconds. I felt like I was just figuring out what each person was supposed to be doing and they stopped. But, once the women came out I really started to understand what was going on. I am not putting the men down here. I hope with more practice they can get into a groove. But, by last night they certainly hadn't.

It was really fun to watch a sport in which women of all shapes and sizes and personality styles were able to find a spot in which they were successful. They work together as a group and make way for the jammer to push through scoring as many points as she can. I really enjoyed the strategy of it. If I could only stay upright on skates while I skate fast and bump and pull on others, I would totally sign up. I wouldn't mind throwing a few shoulders out there...

What would my roller derby name be?

So Long Insecurity.

Sarah is giving away a book that I have really been wanting to read. You don't have to go over there and enter, because that will lessen my chances of winning...

I am just kidding! Head on over and enter to win. But, if you do win, please let me read it when you are done :)

I think as women we can all say goodbye to some insecurities. And I know that this has been an underlying theme throughout my life. I am ready to hear a Word about it.

Good luck everyone!

Random - Sure

• It's almost Spring Break. Which has all of my Biology lab partners talking about their travel plans. Which in turn makes me think about how disappointed they will be when they can't take a week off in spring all the time. Which makes me think of my husband, who doesn't get a spring break.
• I am absolutely, completely, utterly thankful for our long winter here. I have declared it the BEST WINTER EVER. Long live The Winter of 09-10. Feel free to stick around for forever.
• Chris and I both cried at the series premiere of Parenthood. YES, there was quite questionable material on the show. And yes, we expected a serious amount of laughter and found it to be lacking. But we are now committed for at least one more week to the character with Aspergers.
• "Twin Day" for spirit week is code for "Things that make moms go over the edge and never return."
• I got a haircut. And color. And I love it.
• I have tests and meetings and therapies for Brody this week. So here I sit, blogging.
• Babies. I love them.

Hey, hey. It's your birthday.

In honor of her birthday, I give you:
The Top 7 (you guessed it) Random Things About Timmarie.

1. She has vacation schizophrenia. She is definitely going to a beachy, non-beachy or rainy location for her anniversary get-away and it will definitely be in March, May, October or possibly December.

2. She and her family celebrate each birthday by having cake for breakfast. Yum.

3. She and I bonded over a deep love for a reality tv show called Starting Over.
And since this is a random post, might I add, that I could really use some Rhonda and Ayanla in my life right now...

4. We also enjoy season finale parties for our favorite shows. Tomorrow night, anyone??

5. She celebrates each quality her children exhibit and helps them grow into the fabulous little people that they are and will become.

6. She is fiercely loyal. She loves deeply and gives freely.

7. We have been accused of being humor twins. Sometimes when she and I are busting a gut, others look at us in wonder. This, of course, just makes us laugh harder.

8. She googles roller derby names.

Timmarie, Happy Birthday. I am so very grateful that I have been allowed to come alongside and travel this journey of life and motherhood with you. You have modeled for me many lessons that I am oh-so-thankful for. One that comes to mind is how to raise a Jesus-loving little girl. Thanks for always having my back and most definitely for the prayer covering. And, thanks that your home is a safe place for my kids to be just who they are (well, sorry about some of that:) We love you.

Give me an R...

Ridiculous- How many times I tried to bold the first letter of each section. Is it ironic that in trying to highlight the word random, I come up with a post that looks it??
Adorable- Is there anything cuter than a baby grin with 2 little teeth popping out??
Niceness- The princess has set some kindness goals for herself (with my encouragement) and they are really paying off. She's such a sweet friend...when she doesn't forget herself.
Dance- My mom and I signed up for Zumba. If there was ever an ounce of doubt...there is not a drop of latin blood in our gene-pool. We show that off every Thursday night...
Outta here- the kids and I will be out of town for a week this month. I am very excited for some snowy weather and lots of fun family time.
Medical- between a baby who seems to have constant double ear infections, said baby getting tubes put in, a 4 year old well check and a mom who has a plethora of weird symptoms that call for blood draws and other tests, we have 3 to 4 dr appts each week that we are in town this month.

Girls and Boys

This is a conversation that Alivia had with her 5 year old boy cousin today.

Alivia: Do you want to play home?

G: No.

Alivia: Do you want to play house?

G: No.

Alivia: Do you want to play babies?

G: No.

G: Do you want to play killing?

It is amazing to me the innate sense of gender roles that children possess. These 2 children love to play both Star Wars and house together. They play Transformers and Kitchen.

(And for anyone who is concerned...G went on to explain that the killing game he meant was like shooting in Star Wars.)

Tids and Bits

I know I have been absent from this here blog for a while. Partly, it's because I don't have internet access and it is difficult to get on other people's computers and sit down and compose. Especially since I seem to mostly get inspired in the middle of the night. That would be awkward...knock, knock. "I know you and your family are sleeping, but I was inspired to write some mediocre posts for my blog. Do you mind if I come in?" Even I am not that socially awkward...
There are lots of other reasons I have been absent, but I won't bore you with the details.

Here are some things I am thankful for as we go into this most blessed season:

Friends who will be there anywhere, anytime. Friends who allow me to talk or not talk when I need it.

My mom took my daughter to the Polar Express. I can't wait to hear all about their adventures!

So many people have come along side us and offered to help with our kids gifts this year. Far too generous, really. My dad and stepmom took our kids out shopping to buy Mommy and Daddy gifts. How thoughtful!

Christmas decorations! I love decorating for the holidays. It gets me in the spirit. Putting up the tree is probably the best for me. I love to wax sentimental about each and every ornament. Every one is special to me in some way.

Apparently my daughter has my innate love of Christmas tree ornaments. She has been taking one off the tree each day and putting it in her purse. She takes it to school to show her friends. She also likes to "decorate" other parts of the house and it isn't uncommon to find ornaments hanging from tables or dresser knobs or some other random location. When she discovers I have moved it back, she says in a really exasperated voice, "Mom, I was decorating for Christmas. That makes it pretty for Jesus." I can't really argue with that, so don't mind my randomly placed decor the next time you stopped by. I am more interested in cultivating my daughter's love of our Savior than I am in a house decorated "just so".

And the number one thing I am thankful for this season is a renewed hope at a time when it seemed hope was a long shot.

Thank you Lord for all the blessings in my life!