Tidbits

• I have been having weird ear pain off and on for months now. I made the mistake of web MD'ing it. It's either nothing or cancer. Good to know.
• I have taken two big tests in my anatomy class already. I got an A on the first one and an 89.33 on the second one. That really irritates me!
• Addie and I went to her first concert - The Jonas Brothers. She was so fun to watch.
• I am doing the Esther Bible Study and LOVING IT.
• Oddly enough, I am also struggling with not SHAKING THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS out of someone. And yes, that is the edited version of how I feel.
• Just goes to show, I have a lot to work through with the Lord.
• I caught Brody sneaking into some Hostess treats last night. I surprised him with one in his lunch yesterday and so tonight he must've felt like he needed to eat every.last.one. Wonder where he gets that from?
• Someone posted a link to a ministry that is exactly my heart. I have already asked the Lord to let me serve there at some point in my life.
• I've decided to grow my hair out.
• Why does my family have to have more diagnoses? The good news - 3 of the 4 should be remedied in about 6 months after some therapy.
• I got a phone call from a teacher today. Not the kind where they just wanted to share how great your child is. Boo.

This Day

It was an emotional one.

A day of failed negotiations.
A day of victory over past strongholds.
A day of upheld boundaries.
A day of great cost.
A day in which I received vacation details that made me smile- a lot.
A day that held news that is consuming my thoughts.
A day that resurfaced much anger.
A day of new life, twice.

What a day!

A new/old word

2 Chron 28:1 "Ahaz was twenty years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem sixteen years. Unlike David his father, he did not do what was right in the eyes of the LORD." The remainder of chapter 28 goes on to tell you of all the evil that King Ahaz walks out in his life. The last verse of chapter 28 tells us "Ahaz rested with his fathers and was buried in the city of Jerusalem, but he was not placed in the tombs of the kings of Israel. And Hezekiah his son succeeded him as king." Chapter 29:1 "Hezekiah was twenty-five years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem twenty-nine years. His mother's name was Abijah daughter of Zechariah. He did what was right in the eyes of the LORD, just as his father David had done." You know the phrase, "like father, like son." We expect chapter 29 to show us that Hezekiah carried on the traditions of his father. But, we quickly discover that, instead, Hezekiah reinstates the traditions of his Father.

I sat and listened to this message yesterday at church. Tears were streaming down my face. Our children are not destined to do what their parents do. They do not automatically pick up where our dysfunction leaves off. They are destined to follow God and what He would have them do.

To all the mothers out there: Hezekiah's mother is named in this account. This is very rare for a king's lineage. I believe this to mean that she taught Hezekiah the Lord's ways. Clearly he wasn't learning it from his father who had stolen from the church and boarded up the doors. Moms, our influence is great in our children's lives. So is the world's. But, God's influence is biggest. If our children are looking to the Lord, the dysfunction can be broken, regardless of the "sins of the father".

Happy New Year???

At the beginning of this year, Jennifer posted here about her focus for the year. I sat on it for a while (or 9 months) and I finally feel like I have my focus. Granted, I probably cheated by looking back to help me determine, but nonetheless. This year for me is about trust - Trusting the process. Or rather, trusting the One who leads the process. Taking a step, not knowing where the next step is, or where it will lead me. Trusting that He who leads my steps, gives me the discernment to know which step to take right now. I have spent a lot of time doubting. Doubting that I can trust myself. Doubting that I can trust the part of me that says the Lord is leading me in something. I have doubted the way I have interpreted scripture and then doubted how to apply it to my life. Looking back over 2010, I feel as though I can say for the first time in a long time that I am trusting. Trusting the Lord to lead me and trusting in my ability to use the discernment He provides me with.
I certainly don't make all the right choices all the time, but it is time to give myself some credit. I do make some right decisions some of the time. And I am doing the best job I can. My heart motive is to make the best choices for my family, and even when I blow it, that doesn't mean that I can't ever trust my decision making again.

So my commitment for 2010 is to trust. To trust first, my God and second, my gut.

They don't call me Random Mom for nothin'

Things I am doing right now:
*composing this here blog post
*checking Facebook
*fulfilling repeated requests for "more grapes please, I love them. They are so yummy."

Things I should actually be doing:
*searching for jobs
*formulating a plan as to what items I could sell to make some cash until I find afore-mentioned job
*searching for some headache meds

Things I am listening to:
*Alivia mothering her snowman baby
*Koleson coughing like a seal
*and of course, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse...

Things I am wrestling with:
*living out this season of my life with honesty and grace
*that it's tough being a woman in a mean world
*getting some ice cream out of the carton that is stored in, what must be, the coldest freezer EVER

My heart

I find myself wondering on a daily basis, "How do I have such beautiful children?" And "How am I so blessed that I get to call them mine?"



While I have not taken for granted the time I get with my children, I have a new appreciation for the day to day things that I get to experience. The intricate parts of their personalities that I get to be privy to just because I spend so much time with them.

I am looking for a new job. One that will take me away from my children more, but will actually pay the ever-increasing bills. I know it is a necessity at this time of my life. I have a good child care plan. It's going to be ok.

But, I am heartbroken.

Oh Preschool, We Meet Again!

(Waiting for the school bus)

My girl was off to her first day of preschool this year. She was so very excited!. It took me an hour and a half to get her to sleep and she still woke me up before my alarm. Like most moms I know, it is difficult for me to send my baby off to spend hours each day with someone other than myself. It helps that this is her second year she has the same teacher as last year. She was very independent and big this morning.

(Alivia with the send-off committee)

My Beautiful First Born,

My hopes for you this year are:

*That you continue to love learning.
*That you continue to develop your independence.
*That you continue to accept all children as your friends.

Most of all, keep on loving Jesus. He will never steer you wrong.

I love you, Mommy.